The wind whipped the snow against the windows of our small adobe home. Ma, Lura and I hurried to finish supper.

"It's getting worse out there." Papa and the boys stomped snow off their feet as they came in from doing chores. They washed their hands, while Mama and Lura dished up the chicken and biscuits and I put the plates on the table. We had sat down for supper and were praying when the knocking on the door started.

"Who could that be on a night like this?" Papa hurried to the door. The wind swirled the snow into the room as a white figure burst through the entry and fell on the floor. Papa strained against the blowing snow to get the door closed.

"Who is it, Sam?" Mama asked as she followed him into the living room.

"Is that you, Sis?" A raspy voice came from the snow covered man.

"Good Lord, it's Jesse." Papa helped him stand. "What are you doing out in this blizzard man?"

"Oh, Jesse, Jesse." I couldn't believe my eyes, Mama rushed over and hugged the dirty man.

"I heard you moved to La Junta, I had to find you," the man's voice broke. "All the time I was in - all the time I was gone, I couldn't think of anything except to get home, Sis. You're all that's left of home around here."

"Bring a chair over, boys," Papa told my brothers who stood staring at the man. Albert brought over the antler chair and the man sat down.

"You look like you need a cup of hot coffee," Mama said.

"I could use a drink of whiskey." The man rubbed his hands together. Silence met his remark. "Coffee, yes."

"Papa," Oscar said. "I'm hungry."

"You kids eat," Papa said. "Soon as Uncle Jesse warms up we'll join you."

I wasn't hungry. I had heard of Mama's younger brother but this messy looking man couldn't be him.

"It's been over 12 years." Mama wiped her eyes with the tail of her apron. "I was afraid you were dead. Where did you go, Jesse?"

"It's a long story." The man looked at me as I stood behind Mama's skirt. "She sure looks like you, Sis. You've got quite a family. This your youngest?"

"Yep, this is Sarah." Papa grinned.

"Glad to meet you Sarah," the man said.

"You've heard a lot about your Uncle Jesse," Mama said as she gave me a gentle nudge toward the man.

Uncle Jesse put his arm around me. He smelled of sweat and whiskey. I pulled away and ran quickly to the big kitchen to join my brothers.

"Come on Jesse," Mama said as they came into the kitchen. "We've got your favorite - fried chicken for supper."

"You don't know how many times I've dreamed about your fried chicken and biscuits, Sis. Especially when --" The man stopped and he stared into space.

Papa gave the man his place on the bench and pulled out the barrel that was used when company came. Mama and Papa said there was always room for one more.

I drifted into a restless sleep that night as I heard Mama, Papa and the man talking in the front room. At one time I thought I heard crying. I pulled the quilt over my head.

The snow was still falling the next day. It was up past the windows. There would be no school today. After the morning chores were done and we had eaten lunch Oscar and Albert told me the "secret."

"We know where Uncle Jesse has been," Oscar whispered.

"You do?" I stopped writing on my slate.

"He's been in prison," Albert announced.

"Prison?" My voice was loud.

"Be quiet," Albert said.

"How do you know?" I whispered.

"You promise not to tell anyone," Oscar said. "Or we'll never tell you anything again."

"I promise."

"Me and Albert was listenin' last night," Oscar said. "Guess what he was in prison for?"

"What?" I asked anxiously.

"He killed a guy," Oscar hissed.

"He killed someone?"

"Sh," Oscar looked around."They'll hear you."

"Who'd he kill?" I was scared to death.

"Shot a guy for cheatin' on cards," Oscar whispered.

"Cards?" I shivered.

"Yeah," Oscar said. "Uncle Jesse accused him of cheatin' and the guy jumped up real fast."

"Uncle Jesse said he thought he was reaching for a gun," Albert added. "But the other guy didn't have a gun."

"Shot him in cold blood," Oscar whispered.

"What a horrid man." I shuddered.

I hoped that Jesse would leave but he didn't and in the following days I stayed away from him as much as possible. Mealtime was hard. I kept my eyes on my food, so I wouldn't have to look at him. I was glad when the snow finally stopped so I could go back to school.

Saturday was clear but cold.

"Come on, Sarah," Mama said when she started to cook lunch. "Let's have a talk while I peel the potatoes." She patted the bench beside her.

"Okay, Mama." I sat beside her on the bench. I liked those talks. Sometimes Mama told stories about when she was a little girl. Grandma had died when Mama was young and she had helped raise her brothers and sisters.

"You've been very quiet lately, Sarah." Mama peeled a potato.

I could feel my eyes filling with tears.

"What is it?" Mama asked.

"The man - " I couldn't call him Uncle.

"Uncle Jesse?" Mama cut up a potato and put it into the kettle beside her. "Want to tell me about it?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to talk. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

"What's wrong?" Mama persisted.

"He scares me," I confessed.

"Scares you?" Mama asked. "Why?"

I shook my head. I couldn't tattle.

"Come on, Sarah," Mama coaxed.

"He's dirty and smells like whiskey," the words burst out of my mouth.

"He isn't dirty, now, Sarah." Mama looked at me sadly. "He hasn't had any whiskey since he got here."

"But he - he killed someone," the words burst out before I knew it.

Mama's face turned pale. "Who told you that?"

"I can't tell." My brothers would never trust me again.

Mama sighed. "It's true, but it was more than 13 years ago. He made a mistake, Sarah but he's paid for it." Mama stopped peeling potatoes.

I didn't say anything.

"And he's sorry," Mama said.

"How can you love him?" I asked.

"He's my little brother. I love him." Mama stopped and looked at me. "If it were Oscar or Albert you'd still love them, wouldn't you?"

"They would NEVER kill anyone." I was angry that Mama would compare my brothers to that man.

"I didn't think my brother would ever kill anyone either, Sarah." Mama shook her head sadly. "He took a wrong path."

I didn't answer.

"Let's pray." Mama said.

I didn't want to pray.

"Come on, Sarah." Mama put her arm around me. I didn't FEEL like praying but I closed my eyes while Mama prayed and asked God to show me how to forgive.

"Now, Sarah, get Grandma's Bible," Mama said after she had prayed.

I carefully got the big black Bible down from the shelf and carried it to Mama.

Mama opened the Bible. "The Bible tells us that if we don't forgive others God won't forgive us."

"But Mama," I argued. "That's different."

"Not in God's eyes," Mama said.

"He killed someone, Mama," I said persistently.

"Do you remember the story of the lost sheep?" Mama asked.

"The one on the mountain?" I asked.

"Yes," Mama said. "He left all the other sheep so he could find his lost lamb."

"Yes," I looked at the picture of the shepherd with the lamb in his arms.

"Uncle Jesse was the lost sheep that Jesus went out to find, Sarah," Mama said.

I looked for a long time at the little lamb in the shepherd's arms. Mama thought the lamb looked like Uncle Jesse. It didn't look a thing like him, but I tried to see the lamb like Mama did.

"I'm sorry, Mama." I put my arms around Mama's neck and hugged her.

"Will you try to forgive Uncle Jesse, for my sake, Sarah?" Mama asked.

"I'll try Mama," I said, but I didn't know if I could.

That noon I looked at my Uncle again. I was surprised to see that he was no longer dirty. He smiled at me and I smiled back. Suddenly I discovered that the sun was brighter as it shone on the snow outside.

"Come on boys," Uncle Jesse said after lunch. "I'll show you how to build a sled. Put some bricks in the oven, Sis." They trooped outside.

"I wish I was a boy," I sighed as the boys followed him out the door. I got the dishtowel to dry the dishes.

The dishes were done and I watched Uncle Jesse and my brothers as they put the finishing touches on the sled. They came into the house.

"We've finished our sled, and it's hitched to the horse. It's a great day for a sled ride," Uncle Jesse grinned. "Come on girls, get your coat and hat on."

"The bricks are warm," Mama got a sack and wrapped the bricks in it.

"Hurry, Sarah," Oscar yelled.

"I'll pop some corn," Mama smiled happily as she reached for the heavy black skillet. "And fix cocoa. You'll be hungry when you get home."

"You bet we will Sis," Uncle Jesse said. "We used to go sledding when your Mama was a girl, Sarah. You sure are like your Mama." I liked to think I was like Mama.

My heart was singing with gladness as we jumped onto the sled. I guess forgiveness made me happy.