"The Santa Fe is what made La Junta the town it is," Aunt Sarah said. "Some of my family has worked for the Santa Fe from the time the first train pulled out of town. They have been call boys, engineers, worked all jobs. The Santa Fe provided a living for us and for my brothers but there were happy times and there were dismal times. One of the worst was when my brother Bill was killed. He slipped under a train while he was working and only lived a few hours.

Bill was married the year I was born. I was only six when he was killed so I didn't understand much, but there were a lot of things that stuck in my memory. I remembered the sobs of his wife Mary, my Mother crying but most of all the tears that ran down the face of my big, strong father. I remember seeing that white, silent body lying in a big box in the front room of his and Mary's house and I remember the trip to the graveyard. The Santa Fe furnished a baggage car for the casket and we all rode in it to the cemetery. It was a sad time. Bill was one of the first to be buried in Fairview Cemetery.

Later I started losing more brothers and at the time it seemed nearly as sad as losing them in death, but they were only getting married. Maybe the fever was catching one year because Sam got married on the 21st of June and Joe got married the next day. Mama said she was glad she had more boys and not so many girls because she could go to a wedding without having to do all the work.

I was lonely. I figured I had lost too many of my brothers and Mama said there wasn't a chance I was going to get any new ones. I tried to pretend that my brother Doc's kids were my little brothers but they didn't live with us so it wasn't the same. I'd always been the baby of the family and I wanted to be a big sister now.

After the boys got married I think Mama had the mulleygrubs too because she came down sick with the flu and was abed for awhile. Mama was the one who usually took care of everyone else, she said she didn't have time to get sick.

I got my chance to be a big sister when Doc's little boy, Sam was born. We didn't talk about it but we hadn't seen his wife Amanda for awhile and Father and Mother were doing a lot of whispering so Oscar and Albert and I suspected Amanda might be having another baby. People didn't talk about babies being born in those days. Women when they were "that way" stayed home, but we weren't fooled, we had animals and had seen them birthing. We kept our ears open so we could find out what was going on.

'Amanda is going to need someone to help her,' Mama told Father one early morning before he left for work. 'Sadie will want to go and help but I'm not sure she's old enough.'

'Two little ones and a new baby would be a big job for a young girl,' Papa agreed.

'But she's fairly responsible,' Mama said. 'Amanda has to have someone to help her and Lura has her own duties. She's having morning sickness. Looks like she might have a hard time of it with her baby.'

Oscar and I looked at each other. We knew Amanda was "that way" but didn't know our sister, Lura was also going to have a baby.

'I can go and help her when she gives birth,' Mama said in a low voice. 'But I can't stay or bring the little ones over here. I get tired so fast. I wish that flu hadn't hit me and taken so much of my strength.'

One night right after I'd gone to bed there was a loud knocking on the door. I peeked out and there was my brother Doc, his hair was standing on end and he looked wild as a bear on the run.

'It's time,' he said. 'Amanda needs you.'

'I'll get my bag,' Mama said.

I was too excited to stay hidden. I came out of the bedroom.

'I want to go and help Amanda too,' I announced.

'Why, Sadie,' Mama said. 'Have you been listening?' I shrugged. They all looked at each other.

'Do you think she's old enough?' Doc asked.

'I don't know,' Mama said.

'What else can we do? We're desperate.' Doc ran his fingers through his hair.

'Please Mama, I know I can take care of the boys,' I said.

'Well, Sadie, it's a big job, you'll have to handle two little ones and watch out for a baby, as well as doin' the housework.'

'I can do it,' I repeated stubbornly.

'I hope we don't regret it,' Mama sighed. 'All right, Sadie, run and get dressed and pack a box to take to Doc's house.'

I didn't tell Mama that I had packed my things days ago. I threw my clothes on and came back out carrying my box.

'I'm ready,' I said.

'That was fast,' Papa laughed.

Mama picked up her nursing bag and we followed Doc to his wagon. It was late at night but I wasn't sleepy anymore. Doc drove fast through the dark quiet streets of La Junta.

Amanda met us at the door, she was wiping her forehead. It was the first time I had seen her for several months and just like our mother cat she was round in the middle.

'You get back to bed,' Mama told her and she started rolling up her sleeves.

'Do you want me to help?' I asked as she got the kettle of hot water off the stove.

'I don't think so, Sadie,' she said. 'You stay out here and be sure the little boys don't wake up and come in the room.' They were both asleep in their beds.

It was just as well. I wasn't ready to see a baby being born. It was different watching kittens or puppies or pigs coming into the world. Mama and Amanda went into the bedroom and shut the door behind them. Doc brought out some blankets and put them in a chair.

'We'll make up a bed on the floor for tonight, Sadie,' Doc said.

'I'm not sleepy,' I said. 'I'll be ready to hand things to Mama if she wants them.' I figured I was experienced because I had been helping Mama doctor people.

It was a long night. Doc paced the floor, back and forth, back and forth.

'You better lay down,' I finally said. 'You're as fluttery as an old hen.'

'I guess I am,' he laughed. 'Maybe I'll rest my eyes for a few minutes.' He stretched out on the blanket on the floor and was soon snoring up a storm. I sat and tried to stay awake but I couldn't keep my eyes open. I had dozed off when Mama came to the door and told me to get more hot water and a couple more clean towels. I got them for her, then I laid down on the floor beside Doc and slept but my sleep was restless. I could hear groaning in my dreams.

Along towards morning a sharp noise woke me up. I sat up, the sky was starting to get pink. Doc was sitting up too, rubbing his eyes. A baby was crying. We both jumped up and ran to the bedroom door just as Mama opened it.

'Another boy,' she said. 'You can come in now.' Doc rushed into the room and I followed. Both Amanda and Mama looked as tired as if they'd been working on the railroad all night, but they were smiling.

I was in awe, I'd never seen anything so little and sweet.

'What's his name?' I asked.

'James Samuel,' Doc said. 'We're naming him after Papa.'

'Little Sammy,' I murmured. 'Can I hold him?'

'Hold him?' Doc laughed. 'You're in charge of him.' He handed the little bundle to me. It was love at first sight.

Amanda stayed in bed and I played mother and felt grown up until I started doing the work. I didn't know what a hard job I had begged for myself. I was never through. Washing clothes on the washboard, ironing with the sad irons, cooking and running after two little boys and helping to care for a new baby took all my time. I never seemed to get all the dishes washed. Mama sent Albert and Oscar over after school so they could help with a few of the chores. They brought over my lessons and I tried to do my studies but every time I sat down I went to sleep. It was a long two weeks and I was weary but happy when I finally went home.

'You have the heart of a servant, Sadie,' Mama said. 'You're good at helping others.'

'We need people like that in this world,' Father agreed. They were proud of me and I felt good about that, but I was glad to let Amanda take over running her house.

Lura's baby was born a few months later. She named him Oscar, after my brother. Oscar just about burst his buttons he was so proud to have a nephew named after him. Everyone took it for granted that I would help Lura too. I wasn't as anxious this time but I kept remembering Mama's words "You have the heart of a servant." I felt good when I helped others but it was a hard job. At least this time I only had one little baby to watch.

Then Doc and Amanda had another baby, Sarah Frances. No one knew whether the baby was named for me or Mama. I was getting all the little nephews and nieces I wanted now and once again I went to help out. When I went home after staying with them I was glad I didn't have anymore brothers or sisters. I was happy to go back to being a little sister with big brothers who weren't near as much work as those little kids.