I did not like Shirley Finnell when I entered La Junta Grade school. In spite of a big red scar that was prominent across her forehead Shirley was small and very cute. She was the most popular girl in the school. Everyone liked her, everyone but me. Just because she was little and pretty and laughed a lot didn't mean I had to like her.

My grudge against Shirley started in the fifth grade when she heard that I had lived in Arkansas and started calling me "Arky". I didn't like Arkansas and hated being called that name. I felt sorry for myself and was sure she was picking on me. Shirley loved to joke and she didn't stop even after she discovered that I hated to be called Arky.

I tried to get sympathy from my Grandpa Miller but he was another jokester.

"Kick her in the shins," he said. I told him I didn't know how I could do that, I wasn't tall enough to kick her in the chin. He roared with laughter as he said I could get a ladder. It was obvious he didn't sympathize with me.

So I nursed my bitterness and it got worse every time Shirley called me that awful name. Finally the joke wore off and she quit calling me Arky but I still didn't like her. How could I? It was impossible.

In the Junior High School elections Shirley always managed to be the top dog - head girl. Why didn't others see what I saw, that Shirley wasn't so hot? It was clear in my mind that she must be one of those spoiled kids who got everything she wanted, not like me who had to do without because my parents were poor.

When we got into the ninth grade in high school Shirley sat in front of me in math class. I hated being in the same class with her. Then one day my chance came to pay her back for the injustice she had done to me. At long last I would get even. That day Shirley came into class after I did, so I decided since she liked to dish it out I'd see if she could take it. It was easy, I jerked the chair out from under her just as she was sitting down. I thought she would look foolish when she stumbled and caught herself, but she didn't catch herself, she plopped on the floor. Shirley hit the floor so hard I was instantly ashamed of myself and knew that my payback joke was a cruel one. I was scared to death that she was hurt and I knew I was going to get in trouble. I told her I was sorry, I didn't know she would fall.

I was struck with remorse, thank goodness the teacher wasn't there. If Shirley had reacted like I did, the feud would have become two sided and I would have a reason for my resentment, but her reaction astonished me. Shirley started laughing. She stood up and brushed herself off. It took the wind out of my hate.

My opinion of Shirley started changing. No wonder everyone liked her, not only was she cute, she was a good sport and I knew for the first time how big the chip on my shoulder was. She could laugh at herself. I had never learned to do that. She never mentioned the fall to the teacher.

I stopped hating Shirley that day but her crowd was different than mine. I figured they were all the rich kids, so I didn't get acquainted with her until four years later.

I had graduated from high school when I came back to La Junta and went to work at the Fox Theater. Then Shirley was hired as an usher too. I groaned when I heard they had hired her, I still thought she was a snob but the first thing she said to me was, "Where have you been for so long?" She was surprised when she found out I had finished my school in Iowa.

"How could you leave your friends?" she asked.

"What friends?" I answered.

"I'm your friend," she said. I had never thought of Shirley Finnell as being my friend, but since we lived close to each other she made a point of walking home from work with me and we did become friends. That's when I discovered the big red scar on Shirley's face had been caused when she was scalded by boiling water as a child.

I also found out that something had happened to Shirley's parents and she had been raised by her brother and his wife. They were struggling too, just like my parents. Yet she never felt sorry for herself, she was full of laughter.

Life teaches us lessons sometimes and that was one of those valuable lessons that I learned. I, who thought I was so abused, needed to learn how to be a good sport. Shirley Finnell taught me that. She and I became good friends and when I got married she was my Maid of Honor.